Friday, July 18, 2008

Scattered emotions...

Wow what a week. I have been filled with a wirlwind of emotions. I had the priviledge (thats how I have to look at it) to experience what it is like to have a 2nd miscarriage in a row this week. I never would have thought this would happen to me. My mom or my sister never had any troubles; I had no problems with Carter and since then we have had a hard time getting another one here. I think that my moto for life should be I can't do things the easy way. Honestly everything that I have done throughout my life I end up doing in a round about way. It just can't be the way it is suppose to be for me. I have to keep thinking it will happen when it is suppose to. So this week I took some pitty days off work and had some well needed rest and quality time with my little boy.
All I can say is that I am very blessed to have two wonderful boys in my life. Honestly I do not know where I would be without Sean. He brings so much joy and happiness to me. He knows how to calm me down and how to see reality sometimes. Sean knows when I need an extra hand to hold or a shoulder to cry on. There is nothing greater than that. He makes me laugh when situations aren't the greatest and he has a way to bring peace and harmony to our home. I admit that I do get uptight more often then I should, but he is so lax and easy going that he keeps me sane. I do love that about him.

Who wouldn't love this!!

Then there is Carter. Who would have thought that having children was such an art. Honestly it is a miracle that children come the way that they do. Carter has been a champ since day one being born 4 weeks early and not having any complications. I knew at that time that he was going to be a strong willed boy. He is nothing shy of that. When he gets determined do not mess. He has a mission and by golly he will get it done. I hope that he keeps that drive throughout his life. Lately his vocabulary has taken off. He is a smart little one, and every day never ceises to amaze me. I truly am blessed to have these two in my life.

Check out the cheese!!

I know that trials are given to us for reasons beyond our knowledge. But when you go through them it makes you realize the significant blessings that you do have. I love the song Count your Blessings, name them one by one... that is a powerful statement. I took some time this week to think about the blessings that I do have and honestly there are more than I can name. I have been blessed greatly throughout my life. I know that when trials come upon us we then realize that we need the lords help more than ever. Something that I realized is that I need his help everyday and I need to be more grateful for his presence in my life. The gospel brings me a sure knowledge of our purpose here on earth. Anyhow I could go on for ever. Just know that I have a strong testimony of the church of Jesus Christ of latter-day saints. I know that the savior suffered all the pains and the sins that we fill daily. That gives me great comfort because he knows what we go through and he really does care and understand.
Thanks Sean and Carter!! Love you boys!

What do you see...??

13 comments:

JoJo said...

I love the crazy husband picture. You're great and I know I'm not the only one who things so because Lori told me!

Starla said...

Kim you are awesome. Miscarriages are something that I don't know if I will ever understand. I am glad you are feeling better though. Let me know if you need anything and how the doctor goes next month. We love you guys, you are always in our prayers!

The Gwilliams said...

I'm so sorry! I'm sure this is a very difficult time for you guys. Talks from general authorities always help me through hard times, so I thought I'd share this talk with you by Pres. James E. Faust. I hope it helps you!
http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=0d4b6a4430c0c010VgnVCM1000004d82620a____&hideNav=1

Anonymous said...

hey that is to bad! I am sorry! Your mom told my mom and then it took a while for it to get around to me. But hang in there, you will have another one! Hope everything else is going good for you guys!

Marcy Cheney said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your recent miscarriage---sometimes Life just stinks!!! But then you wake up the next day and seem to have a better understanding and can put things into perspective. I do know how it is to always achieve things the "hard way", but it does make you stronger and makes the rewards that much sweeter. Hang in there...we love you guys.

Kurt and Michelle said...

Kim and Sean-
We love you both and know that the Lord will always be on your side, you are always in our prayers, I am one who also has a hard time looking at trials as a blessing when they are occuring but, in the end I am always proven wrong and they do become a blessing. We love you!

Rasmussens said...

Hope you are feeling better. I am sorry that you are going through this.

Annalee Taylor said...

I am so sorry to hear about your miscarriages, I had a feeling that something was going on with you...Im not sure why, I just did. I hope your doing better, Im so sorry. Its not anything anyone will ever understand until they have been through it themselves. Keep your chin up...easier said than done huh. Anyway, I Love you!

Jodee said...

Kim you are amazing. I'm so sorry that you are going through this. You made me cry because you are so strong. You have always had such a strong testimony and kept your head up in tough times. You also have always helped everyone, especially me, keep my head up to. I'm thinking about you and you are in my prayers. Love you!

Brookie said...

oh..i am sooo sorry kim. I had no idea:( i found your blog through jo bird. you are so sweet and i am sorry you are dealing with this trial right now. let me know if there is anything i can do to help you!

Meg said...

It made me sad to read your blog....I guess keep going at it;-) and things will work out how they are suppose to..

Darwin, Jen, Jensyn, Hurley, Violet, and Daphne said...

Kim and Sean, we am sorry that this is something that you are going through. We am sure it is frustrating. Kim, you have such a positive attitude though. Thank you for sharing your testimony. Carter is so cute. Do you guys know when you are coming again to Ogden? It would be fun to get together again.

The Mendenhall's said...

Kim I am so sorry! I had no idea. Just stay strong and things will work out the way they are supposed to. If you ever need someone to talk to just know that you can always give me a call! Love ya!